Devil’s Dictionary, College edition

Course: from French, course: race, racetrack. A forum for profuse sweating.

Essay question: from French, essai: try. An attempt to satisfy the unsatisfiable.

Hunger: sensation of physical need, usually occurring in conjunction with a scholastic urgency.

“Intro to the study of” classes: In which one is taught a little about the subject at hand, though not so much that one would be able to spot the errors camouflaged by the teacher’s pedantic accent.

Student: one who pays to be indoctrinated.

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