Theory

Davis has a hilarious post on the reasonability of desiring the impossibly beautiful girl here. I don’t think he is alone in his quest. He is right on many counts, not least of which is that girls often want to be extreme; the best. If not the best at beauty, then the best at flipping beauty off.

As he hints, this is due partially to masculine desire. People-watching in Bucers the other night, there sat the usual table of gorgeous NSA girls, slender and smooth, well-coiffed, well-dressed (in the NSA way) sitting amid the skinny and effete NSA males with their steel-rimmed glasses. In came a UI couple; and this was obvious by the emo flair of the male’s eyebrows and the unkempt dumpiness of the girl. I glanced from the UI guy (hot) to the NSA guy (not) and back to their women. I thought to my classes, the ephemeral charm of freshman sex-poured-into-a-short-skirt having long since passed; overflowed into senior beer belly, beer things and beer neck rolls. Per capita, NSA girls are at the very least twice as hot as UI girls.

And yet the NSA girls seemed somehow more desperate. Not because they knew their own beauty and wished to see it appreciated — that, momentarily, they had forgotten  — but because they knew their futures rode on the dagger’s edge of being lovely (but never wanton) clever (but never more clever than the boys) accomplished (but mostly, we hope, in feminine arts) with-it (but not of the world) and Christian (of the right persuasion). This, because the NSA male will expect perfection.

The UI male will not. The UI male is pragmatic. He wants to get laid.

In fact, the NSA guy and the UI guy represent two warring factions in the male psyche: desire of ultimate greatness and desire of immediate satisfaction. Both types go about it the wrong way. There is no way I’m going for a skinny, effete dictator-in-waiting. Just because you want perfection doesn’t make you worthy of it. Neither, of course, would I go for strictly pragmatic: I’m getting on in years, so I guess you’ll have to do.

Even though I am still a UI girl (“dumpy” and “unkempt”).