I’ve watched the Superbowl almost every year since I was 11. I remember that first time… at my parents’ friends’ house… a cornucopia of partially hydrogenated snacks and fizzy syrup, this sport I knew nothing about, and A BOY TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Actually, I don’t think he had a clue either; we talked about books.

By 14, I was interested in watching the events on-screen, but only for the commercials. We didn’t have television, but I, cowed and homeschooled though I was, even then claimed cynicism. I was not impressed with mere spectacle. The Sprite Commercials were the best. Oh yes. I don’t remember the number, the teams, the mvps, or even the halftime show, but I recall the Sprite Commercials. Actually, they were Mountain Dew. Maybe. (eyewitness accounts are considered less than perfect evidence in court, although really all you have to do is convince the jury… but I digress).

Here are three facts I do remember: in 2000 the Rams won and in 2004 Janet Jackson had her famous wardrobe malfunction. And yesterday, Seattle lost 10-21.

Other than that, I can only recall the people I spent the pseudo-meaningful high mass of commercialism with: the Heberts, the Ewers, my brothers (eating those pork link stubs and nearly wetting themselves when Denver scored), friends from youth group, and now (yesterday) the Big Haus.

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