1. If you put your husband’s fine merino sweater in the dryer (even 20 minutes on gentle cycle, apparently) you will magically get a new you-sized fine merino sweater.
2. Men, even clean men, leave their dirty socks on the floor.
3. Men do not like being given a running stream of advice when they are attempting to make an omelet.
4. Men have specific places for things. If the place happens to be on top of a pile of junk, and you clean up the pile of junk, they will lose their equilibrium, and therefore, their keys and wallet.
5. Men often resort to giving presents they know they will enjoy. Thus, if they give you chocolate, hide it.
6. Men (at least some of them) get up in the middle of the night to eat chocolate.
7. Men (or at least men over 30) like to relax/unwind after work more than anything else.
8. An entire shelf in the fridge needs to be relegated to beer, just in case.
9. It is possible to spend an entire day cleaning up a not-so-dirty apartment, and it is possible to spend an entire afternoon making a not-so-elaborate dinner.
10. Shopping for luxury sheets with someone else’s money is fun.

(I need to find an intellectually stimulating job. I’m starting to sound like a matronly advice columnist)

Advertisements