C.S. Lewis once remarked that when men are on the prowl and claim they “want a woman,” they actually do not want a woman at all. What they really want is the thing for which a woman is the appropriate appendage: “One does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes.” I wasContinue reading “Celestial bodies”
Category Archives: Love / relationships
Carve our name in hearts into the warhead
I watched the classic zombie movie Dawn of the Dead last night, and was somewhat surprised to discover that, far from being a horror film, it is actually a semi-utopian romance. The fact that two of the four main characters end up as zombies is somewhat immaterial. After brief purging of the slow-as-snails undead andContinue reading “Carve our name in hearts into the warhead”
Scent of a woman
Men and women may not agree on what the epitome of female beauty is, but generally their tastes are fairly similar (higher hip-to-waist ratio, hourglass shape without too much excess, fine nose and bone structure, and so on). However, there are certainly exceptions to this rule. We all know girls whom men find attractive andContinue reading “Scent of a woman”
Free gifts
Typically, when you get a present it’s in celebration of some momentous event, something like the 25th of December and the pagan ritual-cum-Christian-holiday that has resulted. Typically, you’re handed a gift and you know exactly where it came from and exactly how much the person loves you based on the thought, time and salary percentageContinue reading “Free gifts”
Theory of divorce
God hates divorce. I think the question should be asked, though, as to why. If God is not just some arbitrary sprite creating a disorganized maze for us to scramble through to reach the peanut-butter middle of eternal life, then there should be a compelling reason or two. Malachi hints that it has something toContinue reading “Theory of divorce”
Glossy posse
There’s a stack of fashion magazines at my sister’s house, Glamour and Vogue. And, man, the headlines are all the same, blurring together from issue to issue: 3 flat belly secrets, 100 sexy looks you can afford, 50 things your man wishes you knew, 25 ways to wear this season’s clothes. The best jeans forContinue reading “Glossy posse”
Ten things I’ve learned in four weeks of being a housewife
1. If you put your husband’s fine merino sweater in the dryer (even 20 minutes on gentle cycle, apparently) you will magically get a new you-sized fine merino sweater. 2. Men, even clean men, leave their dirty socks on the floor. 3. Men do not like being given a running stream of advice when theyContinue reading “Ten things I’ve learned in four weeks of being a housewife”
surprise
He got an antique ring off ebay using my account. I forwarded him the emails verifying the purchase. You can see if you like it; I don’t have to keep it, he said. It’s not very expensive. So what, I said. It’s cool. It’s a brown-pink champagne diamond set in filigreed white gold. It’s me.Continue reading “surprise”
Overheard conversation between a man and himself
Obviously this is supposed to make some sort of point: “Honey, will you marry me?” “Honey, I will, if you first fulfill x, y and z.” “But… honey… those are variables.” “Exactly. And you must fulfill them to the degree of p, q and r.”
Survey question
Is acting in friendship with person x until the day you say you’re intrested in more than friendship with person x, and then, when rejected, avoiding ever speaking to person x again: 1. Normal and necessary behavior or 2. Totally disingenuous? or, does it depend completely on if you are the rejected or the rejector?
Botkin Creative 