I’m Wearing This Hat Because I’m Going Bald

IMG_2533
Me in my bathroom mirror

32-year-old gamer seeks IRL relationship with bodacious female who will love him for himself.

Username: KnightOfYesteryear.

Turn-ons: Literally everything.

Turn-offs: People who assume I live in my parents’ basement (I live in my own room, thanks), shallow girls who are just into looks, the question “So, what do you do?” What do I DO? I slay foul monsters and rescue fair maidens as did the heroes of yore. Chivalry used to mean something in this country.

This is what I look like most of the time
This is what I look like most of the time

Hobbies: Trolling internet forums and YouTube videos; see above.

Body type: Athletic.

Describe your perfect first date: Lara Croft comes to life as a reward for me winning the game and thanks me for freeing her from her two-dimensional prison. She shows her appreciation by doing Adult 18+ level stuff to me involving Strong Sexual Content. Then she asks me about my relationship with my father. As it turns out, she’s also really good at making sandwiches.

One thought on “I’m Wearing This Hat Because I’m Going Bald

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: