Do what feels good

“If it feels good, do it” ranked among the top most blasphemous phrases of my homeschooled youth. You were not supposed to do what felt good. Because obviously, what felt good was probably a sin. Like drugs. Or fornication. Or maybe just smiling to yourself about how you were really, really excellent at math. “IfContinue reading “Do what feels good”


It was during an attempt to make a self-deprecating joke to a friend that I realized there is no single word for Adults Raised In Cloistered Christian Homeschooling Who Are Now Dealing With It, so I coined the unwieldy ARICCHWANDWI. Somewhere between that moment and now, I seriously considered going back to school in orderContinue reading “For the ARICCHWANDWI”

Pompous Homeschooled Zealot Seeks Handmaiden With No Ideas Of Her Own

19-year-old patriarch-in-training desires helpmeet to provide things Mom has taken care of up until now. She must be a chaste, quiet keeper at home who will dutifully satiate me at all times using sexual intercourse within the bonds of covenant marriage. Any other kind would damn me eternally into the Non Virgin Pew at theContinue reading “Pompous Homeschooled Zealot Seeks Handmaiden With No Ideas Of Her Own”

Things homeschooled girls did in the 90s

1. Journaled and discoursed in the style of Anne of Green Gables. Held the opinion that Gilbert Blythe from the movie version had an annoying way of saying “Anne, I’m sorrrrry.” But he was still kind of cute. RIP, Jonathan Crombie. 2. Had a crush on Christian Bale thanks to his minor but tragic role inContinue reading “Things homeschooled girls did in the 90s”

Ken Ham and Bill Nye, revisited

Watching the Ken Ham-Bill Nye debate on evolution and creation last night took me back to when I was 14. I got familiar with both men’s work that year. My largely-homeschooled youth group was going through a video series put out by Ken Ham’s Answers in Genesis, featuring him doing a lot of talking about whyContinue reading “Ken Ham and Bill Nye, revisited”

An expat in any country

One reason I love other cultures is the possibility that they will be more familiar than the one I’m currently living in. I grew up in a microculture, one with its own way of dressing and thinking, its own news services, textbooks, cultural heroes, way of speaking English. Since the moment I set foot inContinue reading “An expat in any country”

Emotion/logic, sex/purity

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but girls are emotional. Like so emotional, they’re not supposed to be politicians or CEOs because their hormones might cause them to become irrational and then they’d accidentally kill and/or fire someone. I actually recited this litany to someone in my early college years, embarrassingly — although it wasContinue reading “Emotion/logic, sex/purity”

The Quaker and the homeschooler

In 2001, at the age of 20, I went to live in France for four months. I had taken one semester of French, and I opted to live with a French woman who spoke no English in the effort to force myself to become proficient. My program was part of the University Study Abroad Consortium,Continue reading “The Quaker and the homeschooler”