Single father seeking warm, compassionate body to fill the gaping hole left by ex-wife’s ultimate betrayal. Unsername: SadDad Turn-ons: Making my sweet little Maddy laugh, the phrase “I’m not your ex-wife,” being hotter than my ex-wife. Turn-offs: Anything that reminds me of my ex-wife. Body type: Better. I’ve been going to the gym recently. Perfect firstContinue reading “Please Fix Me, My Soul Has Died”
Author Archives: Katie Botkin
My Uterus Is Lonely
36-year-old woman seeks attractive, employed male for whirlwind babymaking love affair, followed by 18 years of paying the bills and watching Netflix together. Username: hotmama23 Turn-ons: Rom coms, candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach. Turn-offs: Conspiracy theories, tax attorneys, finding overdue parking tickets in your pockets when I’m doing your laundry. Hobbies: Spa days, celebrityContinue reading “My Uterus Is Lonely”
I Can Order Kir in Ten Languages. I’m Probably Smarter Than You.
Intellectual seeks fellow intellectual for top-shelf cocktails and riveting conversation about Derrida and the Dardenne Brothers. Username: Nonne Sequiturre Turn-ons: Obscure French cinema, wine and cheese club, Japanese words about art. Turn-offs: Fox News, anything the proles are into. Body type: “I sing the body electric” … please tell me you get it. Or tell me you don’t,Continue reading “I Can Order Kir in Ten Languages. I’m Probably Smarter Than You.”
Things homeschooled girls did in the 90s
1. Journaled and discoursed in the style of Anne of Green Gables. Held the opinion that Gilbert Blythe from the movie version had an annoying way of saying “Anne, I’m sorrrrry.” But he was still kind of cute. RIP, Jonathan Crombie. 2. Had a crush on Christian Bale thanks to his minor but tragic role inContinue reading “Things homeschooled girls did in the 90s”
Worst hostel mates: The all-stars
I’ve been sleeping in international hostels for over 13 years now. I’ve traveled solo since I was 20 years old, all over the globe, and every trip makes me a little more savvy. But if you’re staying in a hostel, there’s not necessarily much you can do to ensure that your hostel mates are quietContinue reading “Worst hostel mates: The all-stars”
Selma’s Shanghai
A few years ago, I went to Edinburgh and decided it was one of my favorite cities in the world for its own sake. I didn’t do a whole lot there, other than drink really good Scotch for not very much money and admire the architecture. I tried to connect with this Chinese girl SelmaContinue reading “Selma’s Shanghai”
Crashing Shanghai Fashion Week
I decide I’m going to Shanghai Fashion Week to try to get them to photograph me for my rad street style. From what I observed yesterday after I stumbled into the heart of Shanghai Fashion Week totally by accident, people like to take photos of you if you’re dressed in something crazy. Like a mink coat withContinue reading “Crashing Shanghai Fashion Week”
Ad hoc tea in Shanghai
I went out to find an ATM, leaving behind my camera because ATMs are hardly film-worthy. On my way a Chinese guy flagged me down and asked me to take a photo of him and a smiling Chinese girl in front of a Chinese sign that apparently was film-worthy. I snapped the photo, handed backContinue reading “Ad hoc tea in Shanghai”
Wandering Shanghai
Shanghai is less terrible than I expected, since the air pollution seems to have lifted long enough to let in sunlight, but still, walking around by myself makes me want to be basically anywhere else. Especially when I wander into the minority art exhibit of the Shanghai Museum and stare at the traditional dresses ofContinue reading “Wandering Shanghai”
Arriving in China
The quiet orderliness of my arrival into China is weirding me out. It’s so easy, routine. Nothing like I remember from 14 years ago at the boarder crossing from Hong Kong to mainland China, nothing whatsoever like being pressed forward in an untamed crowd of human flesh towards an official stamp in your passport. I smile. The agents smileContinue reading “Arriving in China”
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